Welcome back, Eig. How did you find your trip to Earth?
It was OK, I suppose.
Which area of Earth did you go to? I hear France is of interest.
A human told me that France was full of foolish amphibians, so I decided it was wise to go to the Estate instead.
Really? I have not heard of this “Estate”. Have you any souvenirs to show me?
I have this packet of coloured discs called “M&Ms”. They are so perfectly and regularly formed, I think they must have some religious significance. Monuments to the M&M are quite common, from what I saw. There was one above the trade centre where I purchased them.
Are you sure these things are sacred? They do not appear to be made in the holy colour.
True, but remember, human ways are different from ours.
Of course, I was forgetting. Any other curious objects?
I discovered these long-distance communication aids. Sometimes humans wish to communicate across water expanses, and they cannot just shout the way we do. So they send each other these thin pieces of processed vegetation with pictures upon them. I purchased a first-perfect-number’s worth of them, but on the way home I ate the one depicting the Estate’s famous jetty. I was hungry, you see.
Have you brought back any examples of human art?
I bought this video recording at a place called 14 Hook Lane. It shows many pairs of humans procreating. I think perhaps procreation is difficult for humans and they need to study the technique carefully if they are to reproduce.
What about music?
Here is an audio recording by a human called Sheb Wooley. It gives a vivid description of a monocular, airborne, one-horned, holy-coloured being that has the power to consume humans.
Hmmm. Perhaps one of our kind visited Earth and behaved indiscreetly. Did you converse with the humans at all?
It is difficult for the visitor to be in tune with human interests; the culture gap is so wide. I tried reading a bit of one of their encyclopaedias and basing conversation upon that, but it seems that most humans do not find aardvarks or abaci interesting topics for discussion.
So do you think you will visit earth a second time, Eig Htyn In’e?
No, I don’t think I’ll bother.


Your characters are the Aliens.

The aliens are here to observe and report on human souls. The are watching and reporting on what they see. To this end, they have strategically located themselves between the mechanic, the schoolhouse (move 17) and the police station (move 16).

In fact, most of the neighbours of the Aliens are already known, or will be soon.